The quirks of being an Everafter with COD
by The Potal
Summary: The war is over. The master is dead. But there is a new one, waiting for the right time. Now two Everafters have appeared, both are witches. But they both have something in common. Soooo common. But what happens when Canis starts having nightmares and troble sleeping again? This has mulitple crossovers, so I put it as regular. Don't ask why. But what happens?
1. Chapter 1: The non-deadness of Ferryport

Meditating. Though no longer having the Wolf, I was weak and not strong quite yet. "Get back here fairy boy!" Sabrina yelled from outside in the hall. I rolled my eyes. Puck laughed. "Kids," I thought. You would think they would be different after the war. Nooooo, they had to be the same. Elvis barked as Red laughed. I lowered my head. This was hopeless.

I walked out of my room to see Puck run past with some green thing, grinning from ear to ear. Sabrina raced after him. Red chased after them with Elvis in tow. I had to say, though, I was glad to see this. This family was as normal as it ever be. "I'm gonna kill you, fairy boy!" Sabrina's voice ranged out as I walked down the stairs. Ever since Hank and Veronica had moved in for a while, Relda had actually cleaned up. I smiled as I heard Jacob and Hank laughing. I walked into the dining room. Hank, Veronica, Relda, Jacob, and if you count the children running in, everyone was here. I wouldn't have it any other way.

That's when I smelled it. Relda's glow in the dark pancakes. I loved that woman, but I couldn't stand her cooking. Especially, the glow in the dark pancakes. I had to get out of here. Puck. Sabrina was done chasing him. She was huffing and puffing. "Sabrina, I think you might want to check the breakfast. I don't have a reliable source but, I heard that Puck was going to poison yours," I whispered in her ear. Sabrina grimaced, and ran off into the kitchen. Puck's screams soon followed. Okay, okay, I was bad. But if you ever tasted Relda's cooking, well, you would too.

Walking down the lane, I saw children running and laughing. Some were tagging each other, while some just screamed happily and ran off. I grinned. Suddenly, I heard someone cry out, "Oh crap! AAAAAAHHHHH!" Running as fast as I could I ran towards it. It was coming from the forest. Near the river, was a little girl. I estimated she was 12 years old. Out cold, she lay on the forest floor. I rushed over to her. She had a pulse.

I had to sneak the little girl in. I knew Hank wouldn't approve. And I felt in no mood to argue with that pig-headed man. He was worse than me. I laid the little girl down. She had brown goldish hair, the palest white skin I had ever seen, and was oddly wet. Had she jumped into the river? It was near winter. "No," I thought. "It would have meant suicide." I was walking off to get some blankets for the poor girl, when she awoke into a coughing fit. I rushed back to her. Her eyes were a palest blue I have ever seen. When she saw, me she merely gapped. "It's okay, child," I said. "Help me!" she said, starting to panic. "From what?" "The, the, the, the Master!" "What?" I never heard the rest. For she then died. "Stop!" a voice under my window yelled. I walked over to my window and looked out. A girl, that looked a lot like the one that had just died, was searching desaptly for something.

Relda let the girl in. Without a thank you, she rushed to my room. Jacob and Hank looked at each other, than rushed to stop the girl. I wasn't exactly know for liking vistors. The girl entered my room to find me leaning over the poor dead girl. The girl walked up to the other and slaped her! "Stop it, you nit wit! Stop your faking!" "Faking?!" I thought. The girl, that I had thought dead, got up and laughed. I grow furious. "Hey kid!" Hank and Jacob yelled running up the stairs. "Please Kaitlyn, you can't say that you've never done this! Right?" "In fact, I can." The girl smiled sheepishly. Kaitlyn turned to me. "I'm so, so, so sorry sir. Me and my siscousin are orfans with no where to go." "Siscousins?" I asked. "Yea. We're so close, you'll think we're sisters when we're cousins!"


	2. Chapter 2: Nightmares are my peace

Mr. Canis's POV

Breakfast was quiet, except for the clattering of Kaitlyn's plates and plates of helpings. Her siscousin, Elsa, on the other hand(the one that had been the corpse), hadn't taken a bite. After her fourth helping, Kaitlyn finally slowed down. Relda beamed as she gladly took another glow- in- the- dark -pancake. I looked down at mine. While Relda wasn't looking, I quickly put mine on Kaitlyn's plate. "Thank you, Miss Relda. But are you sure we won't be a problem for you if we stay?" I mumbled a no under my breath, but of course, Relda said yes. That woman couldn't say no to Nottingham.

After breakfast , Red and Kaitlyn ran happily across the lawn, after Puck and Sabrina, with Elvis in tow. Elsa, on the other hand, was reading _Little Red Riding Hood . _She looked like she was making mental notes. My face grimaced.

* * *

><p><strong>Third person POV<strong>

**The door's lock slowly clicked loose. A dark figure walked into the room. She looked at the only light source. The Moon. Her attention quickly turned to Mr. Canis, ****asleep on the bed. He turned and mumbled something about a loving grov leaving his right hand totally venerable . Elsa grinned slyly. This was too easy. Pulling out a greenish vomitt mixed with gray dust bundles filled needle, she injected it into his hand. Almost one second later, Canis started moaning in his sleep. Mr. Canis' body was ready. As Elsa made it down the hall, something attacked her. Pushed up the corridor wall, she had a new knife next to her neck, ready to spill its first blood. **

**Unlike most living things, Elsa didn't even flinch. "How dare you!?" Kaitlyn whispered. "How dare you try to harm an old man!? He has nothing you want!" "Says who?" Kaitlyn gasped. "No. It can't be." "Yes, yes it can. The only problem is that he doesn't have the Wolf inside him. The Wolf is what I want. Red has it." "No. I won't let you!" Elsa laughed. "Like you have a choice!" Raising her right arm, she some how made Kaitlyn fall to the floor, nock out cold. **

**After eating some of Kaitlyn's brain chemicals and minerals, Elsa sneaked off. Her part of the job was done for now.**

* * *

><p>Kaitlyn's pov<p>

I awoke to a loud and painful sounding moan. I quickly got up, with one word on my mind. _Canis. _

The door lock slowly clicked loose. I walked in to find Mr Canis tossing and turning and moaning. Pulling out a goldish liquered filled needle, I injected it. The world went black


	3. Chapter 3: Duloc and it's Woman

I awoke in the strangest of places. Duluc, a sign read. "What the heck," I muttered as I sat up. I was in a gift shop. A woman and child, wearing the weirdest of clothes, stared at me from a distance. "Weirdo," the woman muttered under breath as she dragged her son along. _From outside: Welcome  
>to Duloc, such a perfect town<em>

_Here we have some rules, let us lay them down_  
><em>Don't make waves, stay in line<em>

I walked outside. Five, I'm guessing dancers who don't know how to dress, were there. They looked like china dolls. Litally. Even with the makeup. Mr. Canis was there too, watching them like I was. _Dancers: And  
>we'll get along fine, Duloc is a perfect place<em>

_Please keep off of the grass_

_Shine your shoes, wipe your...***... face_

_Duloc is, Duloc is_

_Duloc is a perfect place_

_From girl dancer 1:_

_And  
>here's the man who made it happen<em>

_That towering colossus of moxie, Lord Farquaad_

_!_

I suddenly felt something on my head. I looked up to see a riducales looking wig.I pulled it off madly. I whipped around to find something even through my years would say, well, odd. A donkey and an orger?

_Lord Farquadd!:Oh,  
>it's you, what a terrific surprise?<em>

_Once upon a time this place was infested_

_Freaks on every corner, I had them all arrested_

_Hey, nonny-nonny-nonny-no_

_If you had a quirk, you didn't pass inspection_

_We all have our standards but I will have perfection_

_And so and so_

_Things are looking up here in Duloc_

_Lord Faruaard looked in my dirction. I gulped. He looked like a boy doll that has been torutured by a girly-girl._

_Dancers:Just  
>take a look<em>

_Lord Faruaard/walking up towards me/ I wanted to hurl/:The  
>things I'm cooking up here in Duloc<em>

_Dancers: He likes to cook!_

_Lord Faruaard/ grabing my handand trys to kiss it/ I struggle loose/ Canis gets a scowl/:A  
>model that amazes<em>

_A plan with seven phases_

I start to run.

_Dancers /no.1 chases me/:Bum-bum-bum-bum-bumThings  
>are looking up here in Duloc<em>

_They're looking up_

_Lord Faruaard:In  
>Duloc the ladies all look swell<em>

I heard Mr. Canis (and the donkey) snifle a laugh. I looked down. I gasped. Not pretty.

L_ord Faruaard:The  
>men are so dashing<em>

I looked over at Mr. Canis. Boy, did I almost die laughing!

_Lord Faruaard/ points fat finger at us both as our clothes go back to normal/:Thanks  
>to my new dress code<em>

_The fashion's never clashing_

_Hey nonny-nonny-nonny-noThis  
>castle I had built<em>

_Dancers/ Lord Faruaard chases me up something/:(Farquaad,  
>Farquaad, Farquaad)<br>Lord Faruaard:Is  
>taller than the cliff tops<em>

_A city like a postcard___

_Dancer no.3 and 4:(Farquaad,  
>Farquaad, Farquaad)<em>

_(Farquaad, Farquaad, Farquaad)_

_Lord Faruaard/ obisly trying to inpress me/ long epic solo:Yes,  
>things are<em>

_(Things are looking up)_

_Looking up_

_(Things are looking up)_

_Here in Duloc_

_Hey, let's hear it for those Duloc dancers_

_Aren't they terrific? Yeah_

_Come on_

_Boys_

_Dancers: The  
>upshot is enormous when you can shout<em>

_Conform us!_

_There's no sign of slowing_

_We're growing, we're growing_

_Look, he's growing and growing and growing_

_Look at him grow_

_Things are looking up here_

_We practiced this part both forward and back_

_We make one mistake and we get the rack_

_Things I'm cooking up here_

_He taught us to dance with razzamatazz_

_He's trained in ballet, flamenco and jazz_

_Lord Faduaard and Dancers:_

_My hard work and my rigor  
>Have made me so much bigger<em>

_Things are looking up  
>Things are looking up<br>Things are looking up here in Duloc  
>Here in Duloc, up, up, up, up, up<em>

_Tah dah!_

The orger walked up to Lord Farquaard. "You there!" he yelled. Lord Farquaard yelped. "You're Lord Farquaard?!" Lord Farquaard curled his long hair with his finger. "Maybe." "You dumped all those nutfreak fairy-tale creatures on my swamp!" "Your swap? Ohhhhhh, this is good." "Am I missing something?" the donkey asked. "What do you mean, good?" "You go do this small favor for me, and I'll give you your little swamp back just like it was." "Down to the last toadstoal?" "Down to the last toadthingeee." Mr. Canis walked up to them. He had on the only expression I've ever seen him with. A scowl. "What in the world is going on here?" "This, um, thing is going to go get my soon to be married wife!"


	4. Elsa is the new Mirror

"So, let me get this straight. You're just gonna go recuse a princess from a dragon, just to get back your swamp?" "Yes. My swamp!" Donkey threw his hands in the air. Mr. Canis started walking off. "Oh, and where do you think you're going?!" I said, loudly.

* * *

><p>Great. This is just great. First that stinking nightmare about me killing Red, then the annoying Donkey and Friends, and now Kaitlyn was following me. "Where are we?" Kaitlyn shrugged. "Story-faker perhaps?" I turned to face her. "Story-faker?" "Yes. This really did happen, like all fairy-tales, but this is not our story. I wager all my money it was my siscousin who did this." "Wait, how did you know about the fairy-tale thing?" "Cause, I'm an Everafter." I wanted to gap in shock at this girl. I have perobley, thanks to Relda, read everything under the sun that begon with Once Upon a Time... but, I had never,<em> never<em> heard of a Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn stopped walking. "Don't tell me you never heard of the _Tales of Once Upon A Time." _"I have, but I have never heard of a girl and her wako siscouisen ." Kaitlyn looked down at her shoes. For the first time ever, I noticed that they were made to look like the shoes back in the 1870s. "Wait a minute, you're that witch, aren't you? That witch with the, the, t-" "The COD or more known as OCD disease. There. Are yea happy? You finally figured out who I am. I gota say , though, you sure took a long time. Last time Elsa..." Her voice trailed off. "ONTING!" "What?" "You know, like LOL. But Oh No This Is Not Good." "Noooo, I don't know." "Elsa's not my sister nor cousin. I only went along with her because if I don't, I would die. But anyway, she's been looking for you. She heard about you and Nottingham in court.

'She wants your body." "My body. Child, I am over sixteen hundred years old. Why on Earth would she want _my_ body?" "Not to have as her _own. _She plans to free the Wolf and let it enter _her _body. She just wants to use yours to put all the stuff, like the fur, she doesn't want." "But the Wolf-" "She has the power to control it just like it did you. She's my disease. She's OCD." "But I thought that was all in the head." "No. In my fairy-tale, more like my nightmare, I and Elsa are the same person. But then one night, I get hit with a bolt of lighting and Elsa is born!" "How do we get out of here?" "Simple. We work toghter and find the secert passingway. Find it, we're good to go!"

* * *

><p>Back at the Grimm's house.,,<p>

It was night. All the Grimm family and friends, and toy puppets, were nocked out, thanks to me.

Elsa: Spoken

Alright, when I call your name step forward. Pinocchio, the puppet.

Gets the limp puppet and drags him over.

Elsa: Micking [Pinocchio](Spoken)  
>I'm not a puppet I'm a real boy.<p>

Elsa: Spoken)  
>That's your corner over there.<p>

Elsa: Micking[Pinocchio]Spoken)  
>Oh, dopped on Ferryport Landing's most wanted. Man, I tell you sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine sap.<p>

Life is disappointing,  
>Whoa is what I know.<br>Outted by his nose,  
>That's just how it goes,<br>For poor Pinocchio.  
>Story of his life,<p>

Elsa points at Canis. Elsa:Always doomed to fail.  
>Cheated by a fox,<p>

That's the story of his life, oh yeah,  
>That's the story of his life.<p>

Elsa: Micking Sabrina  
>Strife is never-ending.<p>

Elsa: Micking Puck  
>Banished from the town<p>

Elsa: Micking Jacob  
>they dragged me from the dumb<p>

Elsa: Micking Kaitlyn as braking Kaitlyn's magic wand.

They broke my magic wand.

Elsa went outside and pointed at the two remaining Little Pig's condos.  
>They blew your condos down.<p>

Elsa:Micking the[Wicked Witch] as she casts spell that made people chase Bunny.  
>Life is but a witch hunt.<p>

Elsa: Micking The Mad Hatter  
>They ridiculed my hat.<p>

Elsa: Micking Daphne  
>They said that I was fat.<p>

Elsa: While reaching the castle with the imprisoned Scarlet Hand, Born off a living cell, ha! If only you could see me now Daddy!

Elsa: As breaking the spell  
>I always dreamed I'd get my happy ending.<br>If this is it,  
>It alsome!<br>This is better than that good-looking disease of the Flu Kaitlyn caught in Tijuana.  
>Throwing hands in the air: Yea!<p>

We spent the first night sleeping and tracking. Kaitlyn said that the best way to get out of this place is to find the donkey and ogre and finish the story with them. I had to say, that girl was good at tracking. She knew how to read the wind, and knew how (and when) to look out of the forest to make sure that we were right behind the ogre and the donkey. The next morning I had to literally shake Kaitlyn awake. "C'mon. We're going to lose them in this rate!"

"Donkey! Shut it!" "But, um, Shrek that wasn't me." Shrek zipped around to find Kaitlyn and me somewhat few feet behind them. I put my hand on my forehead. Okay, so maybe Kaitlyn wasn't the best tracker. "How's it going?" Donkey asked. Kaitlyn smiled sheepishly. Suddenly she gasped and, her eyes' rim grew bigger and gray. "C'mon!" she yelled, dragging me and running off. "I can feel it!" "Feel what?" "The first door." "Wait." I stopped her in her tracks. "_First _door?" Kaitlyn shrugged. "There might be a couple of doors to get out of here." I moaned.

Well, the first door didn't do much. We were just transported to a castle with a moat of boiling lava. Great. Just great. "Well, at least now I know that some people are just desperate to live anywhere," Kaitlyn said, looking down at the moat. "Stop it Shrek! Please! Oh man, I'm too old to wet myself, but much too young to die!" Donkey yelled. We turned to see Shrek forcing Donkey across the bridge. Kaitlyn hit her head with her hand. "Oh, brother."

"Stay here with the donkey," I told Kaitlyn as the ogre and I started climbing up the tower. Inside the tower were two ladies? One looked a lot like Relda….,


	5. Fina is not the only princesss

The one that looked like Relda, shook the other lady awake. "Relda?" I asked. "How do you know my name?" "Um, I'm your houseguest? You invited me in though your husband said no?" "I'm not even married, thank you!" "Come on," Shrek said. "Wait!" the other lady said.

_Fina: _This is how a dream comes true  
>This is how I pictured you<br>Climbing in to rescue me  
>This was always meant to be<p>

This is how the scene must go  
>You standing there, the light just so<br>Then you smile and gaze at me  
>Take my hand on bended knee<br>Bended knee,

_Fina_: (spoken, rather shouted) Bended knee!

_Shrek and I_: Ow!

_Fina and Relda_: Sorry!  
>And though we've only met<br>Somehow I always knew  
>It would look like this<br>When dreams come true  
>Days and nights, slow down a bit<p>

_Donkey/Kaitlyn_: Shrek/ Canis!

_Fina/ Relda_: ( as Shrek and I drag them down the tower)Please slow down good sire, princess are delicate  
>I longed for this my whole life long<br>Now you're doing it all wrong

_Fina_: Down a rope, a steed awaits  
>That's what every story sates<br>Riding over ruff terrain  
>Pass the dragon you have slain<br>You have slain,

_Relda_:(Spoken) you have slain?

_Canis/Shrek_:(turning to face the princess) it's on my to do list!

_Relda/Fina_: What!

Donkey and Kaitlyn run towards us. "You found the princesses!" Donkey yells as the dragon starts to chase us. "He talks!" "Yea, but the real problem is getting him to shut up!" Kaitlyn noticed a sword and tries to pull it out.

_Fina_: Are You there, God?  
>It's me, Fiona<p>

The dragon was right upon us. "Less praying, more running!" I yelled as I grabbed Kaitlyn and Fina.

_Fina_:In the end, remember  
>All your dreams come true<p>

Say your affirmations  
>And love will come to you<br>If you can conceive it  
>Believe it, achieve it<p>

_Kaitlyn_:Ooh,dragon, yeah  
>Skeletons, hurray<p>

_Fina_: Pretending I'm not here  
>Nothing more to fear<br>Pink ponies, happy sky  
>Pink ponies, happy sky<p>

_Relda_: Oh my God, we're gonna die!

We reached the gates just in time. "Yes!" Kaitlyn yelled as it closed. Donkey fainted.

_Fina and Relda_: This is how I pictured it  
>More or less I must admit<br>A pumping in my heart  
>A life about to start<p>

I knew this day would come  
>And you would find your way<br>At last my dream comes true  
>I knew, I knew, I knew it would be today!<p>

Kaitlyn rushed towards me. Her eyes were all weird-like again. "It's near!"


	6. The Big Bad Lady?

I never thought I'll say this, but, I was really starting to like Kaitlyn. We have for two songs now, been getting along fine. Kaitlyn had even made me wonder if me and her won't a lot alike. But what I didn't know, neither did Kaitlyn, that Puck, Daphnne, Sabrina,Red, and Piccinco were here too. But their story went a lot like this...

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" "Ow!" "Get your butt out of my face!" "Get your face out of my butt!" "Shush! I hear someone!" Puck,Piccinco, Red, Dapnne, and Sabrina fell from the sky into the hedge next to a swamp. They all hid.

A guard and some fairy-tale creatures that they knew came walking, wobbling, crying, and crawing in.

[Guard] (Spoken) _Alright, when I call your name step forward. Pinocchio, the puppet._

[Pinocchio no.2] (Spoken) I'm not a puppet I'm a real boy. (Nose grows and he laughs)

"What?!" Pinocchio whispered , and would had come out of hiding, if Sabrina hadn't pulled him back down.

[Guard] (Spoken) That's your patch of mud down there.

[Pinocchio no.2] (Spoken) Oh, dopped on a swamp. Man, I tell you sometimes being a fairytale creäture sucks pine sap.  
>[Pinocchio] Life is disappointing, Whoa is what I know. Outted by my nose, That's just how it goes, For poor Pinocchio. Story of my life, Always doomed to fail. Cheated by a fox, Swallowed by a whale. That's the story of my life, oh yeah, That's the story of my life.<p>

[Shoemaker's Elf] Strife is never-ending.

[Guard] (Spoken) Peter Pan!  
><em>(As Peter Pan appears, Puck chuckles and grins.)<em>

[Peter Pan] Banished from the town

[Guard] (Spoken) Ugly Duckling!  
><em>(Daphnne bit down on her palm.)<em>

[Ugly Duckling] They dragged me from the pond.

Fairy Godmother] They broke my magic wand.

The Three Little Pigs] They blew our condos down.

[Guard] (Spoken) Wicked Witch!

[Wicked Witch] Life is but a witch hunt.

[Mama Bear] Mama's in tue muß, Mama's in Mistress.

[Mad Hatter] They ridiculed my hat.

[Three Little Pigs] They said that we were fat.

Big Bad Wolf] They tore my cotton granny dress, And called me a hot and tranny mess.

Guard/ Puck/ Daphnne/ Sabrinna/Pinocchio/ Red] (Spoken _our heros astonished_.) Sugar Plum Fairy!

[All] Story of my life. Booted from ball Told to go away.

Humpty Dumpty] Tumbled off a wall

[All] That's the story of my life.

Guard] (Spoken) You're late rabbit.

White Rabbit] That's the story of my life.

Guard] (Spoken) Have fun you guys

All] That's the story of my life.

[Guard] (Spoken) And remember if we find you back in the kingdom you will be executed.

[All] I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending.

[Wicked Witch] And this right here, Not how it goes.

[All] I always dreamed I'd get an ever after. If this is it, It blows (x3)

[Pinocchio] (Spoken) This is worse than that case of Dutch Elm Disease I caught in Tijuana.

[The Three Bears] All the broken chairs. All the busted beds.

[All] Story of my life, All the wasted prayers. All the broken dreams.

[All] All the damage done

[All] All the shattered falls

[The Three Bears] Pourage on our heads.

[All] That's the story of my life, yes sir. That's the story of my life, oi vei. That's the story of my, Life

[Pinocchio] (Spoken) Crap!


	7. Elsa's song of her Daddy

**Dear Axel Longhorn: Thanks! But what do you mean space?**

* * *

><p>Ferryport Landing was no more. Now stood Elsa's kingdom. Mirror bowed as Elsa walked in. She no longer looked sick and wore a beautiful dark blue dress. "Thank you again for bringing us back to life." "Yes. But if you ever turn..." "Should we invite your father?" an evil nobody asked. Elsa turned and slaughtered the man."<em>My <em>father?" Nottingham walked forward. "Yes, _Master. _But the prisoners are still in the story-faker. Should we not wait?" "No."

* * *

><p><strong>Elsa's song of her Daddy. <strong>

Elsa: _My daddy was a virease_

_So he wasn't much around_

_Foraging with war. A life spent under the skin. Yuk!_

_Daddy didn't talk much He barely said hello He'd simply mutter, "Heigh, ho" And off to work he'd go_

_Daddy was grumpy_  
><em>My momma was the princess of cancer<em>

_ Who left her crown behind Daddy was her true love So momma didn't mind_  
><em>I never knew my momma But she would've been a queen She married way beneath her <em>

Elsa looked down at her legs.

_Beneath her knee, I mean_  
><em>Oh, daddy's army was pathic So mommy couldn't sleep Daddy let her take control. So grateful and brave. One war night Mommy was slaughtered So daddy was grumpy<em>

_ Me and my old man A tale as old as dirt A bitter distant father In a tiny undershirt_  
><em>Daddy up and left me Left me good as dead Now he lives in squalor Sleeping seventy to a bed<em>  
><em>Oh, if you could only see me now Daddy, I'd invite you to the corrention. But you have to be this tall to get in<em>

Elsa laughed as she showed that you have to be an inch to get into the correlation.

_ My correction dress is beautiful. Packs of royal lackeys Playing violin Strings of royal underlings Who will not let you in Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha_  
><em>Tricked out carriage, twenty stallions With a coachman named Raoul Big reception with a boy band And a royal DJ by the pool<em>

Elsa walked to a balcony where the Queen of Hearts stood. Elsa grabbed the birnaclurs from her.

_ Yes, I can see my future And so it shall be done It's total domination With some torture just for fun He He Ha_

Through the birnaclurs, Elsa could see herself in control of every human's mind.

_'Cause I will have my coronation And the world will have a queen _  
><em>And I'll punish you, daddy 'Cause I'm all grown up And bigger than you'll ever know<em>  
><em>You're gonna pay, daddy It's any day, daddy I'm off to work, heigh, ho<em>

* * *

><p><em> So? <em>**Axel Longhorn, I get my chapter titles from my imagination...**


	8. Big Bad Rat Dinners, Songs, Singers

**Axel Treehorn: Sooooo sorry about your name misspell thing. But I'm kinda lost to see where you're lost. You seem to know about Elsa's plans and how things are getting out of hand. What do you not understand? You know, you really need to become a Fanfiction writer. Then we can PM each other than do this. I got the Kaitlyn and Elsa idea from a friend of mine. (Well, not excatly from her.) She has OCD like Kaitlyn did. But instead of having Kaitlyn and Elsa the same person, I gave "birth" to Elsa. **

** If you are not Axel Treehorn please do not worry about reading what's above. It is for Axel Treehorn only. Thank you**

* * *

><p>"Oh, you know Shrek, I could be one of those donkeys they put into outer (Donkey suddenly got really excited here.) I could be one of those donkeys that pull those wagons full of beer!" Shrek groaned. "I could be some famous writer and change my past!" I said. "ShrekCanis what would you be if someone put a knife to your throat and said you can't be you any more?" Donkey and I asked in usion. Canis sighed. " Donkey/Kaitlyn, I would personally grab hold of him and throw him into the closest tree," Mr. Canis and Shrek said. Donkey looked scared for a sec. "Okay, you two are _nooooooo_fun," Donkey and I said. Mr. Canis/ Shrek thought for a moment.

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Mr. Canis/Shrek:_I guess I'd be a hero With sword and armor clashing Looking semi dashing A shield within my grip_

Shrek:**Or else I'd be a viking And live a life of daring While smelling like a herring Upon a viking ship**  
><strong>I'd sail away,<strong>

Mr. Canis:**_ I'd see the world I'd reach the farthest reaches I'd feel the wind, I'd taste the salt and sea And maybe storm, some beaches That's who I'd be, that's who I'd be_**  
><strong><em>Or I could be a poet And write a different story One that tells of glory And wipes away the lies<em>**  
><strong><em>And to the skies I'd throw it The stars would do the telling The moon would help with spelling And night would dot the 'I's<em>**  
><strong><em>I'd write my verse, recite a joke It'd fit in perfect timing I'd share my heart, confess the things I yearn And do it all while rhyming<em>**

Mr. Canis/ Shrek:_But we all learn, but we all learn_  
><em>An ogremonster always hides An ogre/monster's fate is known And ogre/monster always stays In the dark and all alone_

Shrek:So yes, I'd be a hero And if my wish were granted Life would be enchanted Or so the stories say  
><strong>Of course I'd be a hero And I would scale a tower And save a hung-house flower And carry her away<strong>  
><strong>But standing guard there'd be a beast I'd somehow overwhelm it I'd get the girl, I'd take my breath And I'd remove my helmet<strong>

Mr. Canis:**_We'd stand and stare, we'd speak of love We'd feel the stars ascending We'd share a kiss, I'd find my destiny_**

Mr. Canis/Shrek:_ I'd have a hero's ending A perfect happy ending That's how it would be A big bright beautiful world But not for me_  
><em>An ogremonster always hides An ogre/monster's fate is known And ogre/monster always stays In the dark, you're all alone, all alone_  
><em>So yes, I'd be a hero and if my wish were granted <em>

Shrek:**Life would be enchanted or so the stories say **

:**_Of course I'd be a hero and I would scale a tower_** **_ And save a hot-house flower and carry her away _**  
><em><span> Everyone<span>_:_A perfect happy ending That's how it should be._

* * *

><p>Morning was dull. Well it was until Shrek, Fina, Relda, and Kaitlyn got into a fight, of course.<p>

It all started with Shrek laughing at Fina when she said she had a terrible childhood. (I personally, wouldn't have cared if mine was, if I could just remember it.)

* * *

><p>Please enable javascript to see this content.<p>

Fina/ Relda:_I had nothing in that tower Fighting boredom by the hour I had only_  
><em>Bare essentials army cot A hot plate and chamber pot And every morning I would boil it No choice I had no toilet<em>  
><em>Just a view of devastation Out one window, isolation In my bedroom And very little headroom<em>  
><em>Twenty years I sat and waited I'm very dedicated On the walls the days were added Luckily those walls were padded<em>  
><em>So I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat Yeah, yeah, yeah I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat<em>

Shrek/Kaitlyn:Oh, you think so That was a sad story but  
>I've heard better<p>

I'm just saying A for effort thanks for playing Sad to see a princess suffer But I had it rougher  
>Like that time a mob with torches Burned my britches, see the scorches You're just whiney, I had a flaming hiney!<p>

Canis/Kaitlyn/Shrek:As I fled I had to wonder If I were torn asunder Would an ogre/witch/monster go to Heaven? Did I mention I was seven?  
>Kaitlyn:So, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat Yeah,<p>

Shrek: yeah, yeah, yeah I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat

Fina:No warm regards

Shrek: No Christmas cards

Relda:And everyday

Kaitlyn: Was hell on earth day

Fina: (Spoken) Okay. Beat this!  
>I missed my prom<p>

Kaitlyn:My dad and mom sent me away It was my 7th birthday!

Fina/Relda: I was sent away on Christmas Eve, ha, ha  
>Bare essentials army cot<p>

Canis:No warm regards

Relda: A hot plate and chamber pot And every morning I would boil it

Shrek/Kaitlyn:No Christmas cards

Relda/Fina:No choice I had no toilet  
>Just a view of devastation<p>

Kaitlyn:And every day

Relda/Fina: Out one window, isolation

Mr. Canis:Was hell on earth day

Fina: In my bedroom And very little headroom  
>Twenty years I sat and waited<p>

Kaitlyn and Shrek imatating Fina:I missed my prom

Fina: I'm very dedicated

Kaitlyn/Shrek:My dad and mom sent me away!

Relda/ Fina: On the walls the days were added Luckily those walls were padded!

Kaitlyn: It was my 7th birthday!  
><em>All but Canis<em> : My dad and mom sent me away  
>FinaRelda:So,

Kaitlyn: so I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat

Shrek/ Canis:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Kaitlyn: yeah I think I got you beat,

Canis: I think I got you beat Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

_All_: yeah, yeah, yeah I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah  
>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah<p>

* * *

><p>Kaitlyn's eyes widened and the rims turned gray. She turned to me and I nodded.<p>

_** 7 hours of traveling on foot in the forest...**_

The sun was sliding down. We had found Lord Farquarrd's castle and was stopping for the night. Shrek had the idea to eat rats for dinner. I just stared as Fina, Donkey, and Canis(he did it relactly) eat some of it. I looked down at mine. I wanted to barf.


	9. Let's all eat Giggy!

** Here it is folks! The last chapter of the story-fakers! The next chapter is when Kaitlyn, Canis, and the rest of the gang wake up. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Donkey: (spoken) There's something going on around here<p>

Kaitlyn:(spoken)I've been watching and the signals are clear

_ Both Kaitlyn and Donkey stand up, unnoticed by , Relda, Shrek, and Fina._

Donkey:(spoken) A nervous laugh when she brushes his skin

_Donkey pointed behind himself, at Shrek and Fina._

Kaitlyn:(spoken)The sweaty palms, the big dopey grin...

_Kaitlyn pointed behind herself, at Relda and Mr. Canis._

Kaitlyn:(spoken) With a giggle and a flip of her hair

Donkey:(spoken) I smell the pheromones in the air!

Kaitlyn:(spoken)Making goo-goo eyes over their food

Donkey:(spoken)They need my help here in setting the mood!

_Kaitlyn looked at him weirdly..._  
>Donkey:(spoken)Oh, you don't believe love is blind? Well I've got some friends who think otherwise.<br>Blind Mice: ahhhhh...

_ Kaitlyn points at the now appearing Blind Mice._  
>Kaitlyn:(spoken) And here they are! Direct from your imagination!<br>Blind Mice: Three Blind Mice  
>Donkey:(spoken) watch your step, girls<br>Blind Mice: Three blind mice  
>Donkey: (sung) You've gotta turn up the heat You've gotta butter the pan<br>Donkey/Kaitlyn/ Blind Mice: You've gotta make a move And don't be afraid!  
>Donkey: Reach for her hand<p>

Kaitlyn: Maybe give her a kiss  
>Donkey and Kaitlyn: She's waiting for a move to be made<br>Donkey: You gotta  
>Kaitlyn: You Gotta!<br>Donkey: Gotta  
>Blind Mice: Gotta!<br>Donkey: Gotta  
>Blind Mice: Gotta, yeah!<br>Donkey: You gotta make a move!  
>Kaitlyn: You've gotta make a move!<br>Blind Mice: You've gotta make a move!  
>Donkey: You gotta make a move!<br>Blind Mice: You've gotta make a move!  
>Kaitlyn: Yeah!<br>Donkey/Kaitlyn{each to their friends}: (spoken, in deep voice) Shrek/Mr. Canis I know you can't hear me right now But if you could i want to say a few things to ya. I am in your corner, buddy! But you have got to tell this girl what you are thinking deep down. You may not get another chance! So just go, now! Just open your heart and...  
>Shrek: (spoken) Uh... princess?<br>Donkey: Here we go!  
>Fiona: Yes, Shrek?<p>

* * *

><p>Mr. Canis: (spoken) Uh... Relda?<p>

Kaitlyn: Oh, he's gonna tell her!

Canis: I...uh...  
>DonkeyKaitlyn: Oh! I can't take this!  
>: Well...I was...uh..<br>Donkey/Kaitlyn: Uh huh?  
>ShrekMr Canis: I was wondering...  
>DonkeyKaitlyn: Oookay!  
>Mr. Canis: Just wondering...<br>Donkey/Kaitlyn: SPIT IT OUT!  
>: Are y-you gonna eat that?<br>Donkey/Kaitlyn: Man! What is wrong with you? (sung) You! Gotta! Make a move! You gotta shift into gear  
>Donkey  Blind Mice: You gotta buckle down and give it a whirl  
>Donkey: The scene is set right out of a book<br>Donkey and Blind Mice: With a sunset

Kaitlyn: And a beautiful girl So you gotta

_ Kaitlyn pretended to be the beautiful girl._  
>Blind Mice: Gotta!<br>Donkey: Gotta  
>Blind Mice: Gotta!<br>Donkey: Gotta  
>Blind Mice: Gotta yeah!<p>

Donkey: You gotta make a move!  
>Kaitlyn: You've gotta<br>Donkey: You gotta make a move!  
>Blind Mice: You've gotta<br>Kaitlyn: You've gotta make a move  
>Blind Mice: You've gotta Make a Move!<br>Donkey: yeah!  
>You've gotta use the sunset What a beautiful<br>Donkey and Blind Mice: Sunset, baby!  
>Donkey: You've gotta use the sunset, baby!<br>Donkey and Kaitlyn: Woooah, woooah, wooah, yeah!  
>Donkey: You gotta reach for the ring You've gotta give it a shot<p>

Kaitlyn: Grab the bull by the horn Or give up the pot!

Donkey:whoo! And make a move

* * *

><p>That night Shrek and I went off to gather fire wood. When we got back though...<p>

FINA: I CAN NOT LOVE SUCH A HIDOUS, UGLY BEAST.

REDLA: NEITHER CAN I

( Kaitlyn and Donkey were both in there.)

* * *

><p>The next morning...<p>

Fina and the rest of the gang that had been inside the barn, walked outside.

Fina: Good morning, dawn, good morning, day Good morning, morning, dove I had a long and sleepless night Pondering true love  
>My fairy tale I know so well Must somehow gone awry Looks can be deceiving But feelings cannot lie<br>Do I love him?

Relda put a soothing hand on her shoulder.

Fina: Last night I was uncertain But this morning, this morning, this morning

Fina and Relda:  
>ShrekCanis, thank goodness, there is something I have to tell you

Canis/Shrek You don't have to tell me anything, I heard enough last night

Fina:Oh, you heard what I said?

Canis and Shrek:Every word, especially Who could love such a hideous ugly beast?

Lord Farqquard suddenly appeared with eight soilders and pulling plastic horse. "Whoa, plastic horse, whoa, plastic horse." "Oh, and we got you a present, your Ladies," Canis said madly. Relda scowled. Lord Farqquard looked up at Relda and Fina. (Relda quickly got rid of her scowl.)

"So sorry to scare you princess, but-" "It's no problem at all Lord Farqquard. We're just saying in SHORT!" (Lord Farqquard had gotten off his plastic horse.) Mr. Canis and Shrek begun to walk away. "What are you doing, Shrek?" Donkey asked, him and I chaseing after them. For an old man and a fat ogre, they were fast. "You're letting her go away?!" Shrek and Canis turned to face us. There was fire in their eyes. "Yes." "But-"

Mr. Canis:I'm gonna build me a wall, I'll make it ten feet high

Shrek: See ya later, pal, bye, bye

Both:No one gettin' in so don't you even try A ten foot wall  
>I'm gonna build me a wall, I'm gonna disappear What's the matter, pal, am I not bein' clear? Can't you take a hint, am I getting through at all? Just get outta here<p>

They both shoved us back.  
>Shrek:I was told the world would despise me So I should have known,<p>

Canis: I should have guessed  
>Both:I'm gonna be what they want, I'm gonna be what they say Hey world, I'll do it your way You're looking for a monster, it's your lucky day I'll be what you want<p>

Donkey and I both parted. I had to stop Elsa. Suddenly I heard more singing?

Ginggy: We spend out whole lives wishing We weren't so freakin' strange They made us feel the pain But it's they who need to change

Papa Bear:The way they think, that is

Sabrina: Yes! Finally!

Ginggy: It's time to stop the hiding It's time to stand up tall Say hey world, I'm different And here I am splinters and all, splinters and all

Mama Bear/ Daphnne:  
>Let your freak flag wave Let your freak flag fly Never take it down, never take it down Raise it way up high Let your freak flag fly, let it fly, fly, fly<br>Pinoccio no. 2:It's hard to be a puppet So many strings attached

Humtpy Dumpty:But it's not the choice you made It's just, how you, were hatched

Puck looked at her strangly.

Puck:Let your freak flag wave Man, I can't believe I'm telling Peter Pan this! He was born weird!

Peter Pan: Hey!

Kaitlyn: Hey!  
>The Three Piggys:I'm proud to be a pig<p>

Papa Bear:I raise my furry fist

Elf:It's time a tell the world I'm a Scientologist  
>Papa Bear:I had some time in jail<p>

Big Bad Wolf:I'm gonna shed my house coat Let's think you'd work it out

Kaitlyn/ Daphnne:Let your freak flag wave Let your freak flag fly Never take it down, never take it down Raise it way up high  
>Pinccco:Yes, it all makes sense now We may be freaks but we're freaks With teeth and claws and magic wands And together we can stand up to Farquaad<br>Never take it down Raise it way up high  
>We've got magic, we've got power Who are they to say we're wrong? All the things that make us special Are the things that make us strong<br>I'm wood, I'm good Get used to it, fly

Sabrina turned to face me. "It took us seven hours of walking for them to realize this."

* * *

><p>"Kaitlyn!" Donkey yelled. I rolled my eyes. "What?!" "We have to stop the wedding! I'll get Shrek and Canis, you get Dragon." "You say like it's easy..."<p>

"Stop!" Shrek yelled as we all rushed into the church. Relda and Fina were just about to get ready to say I Do. The whole crowd gasped. One lady even fainted. "Oh, please," I muttered. "Really?! It's bad enough being born when no one wants you but-" "Like you?" I asked. Lord Farqquard had to literlly hold back the assinen.

Shrek: I love you Fina Please say-

"Please! No more singing! Just tell her for pete's sake!" I yelled. So he did. "Boooooooo!" Lord Farqarrd yelled. I looked at him madly. Then, let's just say, Lord Farqarrd won't be able to walk straight for a few weeks...

Soon Shrek and the orge Fina were singing their love. Puck and the rest of the gang soon arrived.

Me: Now Let's all eat Giggy!

Giggy: What?

Puck: Okay!

"No, stop! I was joking! Joking!" After I had finish chasing Puck, who was still chasing Giggy, I stopped for a breather. Mr. Canis just stood by the side. When he saw me, I motioned to Relda, who was doing the same. Mr. Canis shock his head. I motioned harder.

But as Canis walked over to Relda, the world fell...


	10. Elsa reveals the truth and Slaves

I awoke with a start. I gasped as I heard moans. I stood up and ran to the window. Ferryport Landing was no more. Instead, was a fortess? People were working on stautes of Elsa against their own will. Even the sky seemed to have Elsa as her new master. There were many groans as the others awoke. Kaitlyn rushed to the window. " She's gotten stronger," Kaitlyn said, turning to face me. "Yes, yes she has." "Mr. Canis, I need your help. Will you help?" I nodded, smiling, trying to make Kaitlyn feel better. "I'll tell you one thing. I'm no-ahhhhhhhhhh!" Pinocchio yelled as eight, giant, black tenacules appeared and started to yake Relda, Daphne, Veronica, and Hank down the stairs. "Guys!" Kaitlyn yelled as we all rushed to stop and save them.

In the end, we lost Hank, Pinocchio, Sabrina, Veronica, and almost, Puck. The reminder of us rushed out the window into the forest. When none of us could run any more, we stopped and gasped for air. "W-wh-what was t-th-that!"Jacob asked. "Ursa's tenacules," a voice behind us suddenly said. We all turned to see Elsa. Her eyes were now dark as the ocean, and her dress matched them perfectly. "I see, you have escaped my story-faker," she said. "What are you doing here?" Jacob asked. "I just wanted to tell Mary Beanea that she lost" "Who?" Daphnne asked. Elsa grinned. "Mary Beanea was Red's grandmother." "My grandmother?" "Yes. She knew something wrong might happen when she tried to help Red. So she asked Will and Jake Grimm if they could make a new Everafter soul. _Kaitlyn._

' When Tobias Clayhead, here, tried to "save the day" part of me some how entered him." "Wait, you're the Wolf?" Red asked. "No, child. The Wolf is only part of me. When Canis ate Mary, she didn't die. She was _reincarnated_."

"No," I said. Elsa nodded. "Have fun beening my slave for all eternity," Elsa said, before disappeared into thin air. "Why did she disappeared?" Jacob asked. "Reckon she caught a look at me, and ran off," Puck said. Suddenly Daphnne fell to the ground in a fetal position, and screamed. "Daphnne!" we yelled as we rushed to her side. "She's in my mind! She says she's gonna torture Sabrina! Stop! No! I swear! I swear I will work for you! I SWEAR!" "Daphnne!Daphnne!" Kaitlyn yelled, shaking the poor girl. "She's really not. She knows what you're afraid of. What you crave." Suddenly Jacob grabbed me by the shoulders. "She has her!" "Who, excatly?" "Elsa! She has Biar! She says that if I work for her for entrity, she'll give Biar to me!"

Soon everyone, but Puck, Kaitlyn, and I, were under Elsa's control. Kaitlyn thought a moment, before turning to face me. "Where is it?" "What?" "The kazoo thingy. It's the only thing that can stop Elsa!" "That was lost in the Everafter War." Kaitlyn's face was grim one minute, beaming the next. "That's great!" "Um, Kaitlyn, has Elsa gotten to you too?" Puck asked. "No. My uncle, or at least in my story, was a serial killer. He used this thing to get to the right time to kill people! And he passed it down to me!" "And that's not creepy at all," Puck said. "I never said it was any good!" Kaitlyn yelled as she dugged inside her pockets. "Ahhhhhhahhh!" She pulled out brown pipe. "Now Elsa will have no idea where I am, and I will stop her." Kaitlyn blew the pipe.


	11. The past is altered and The END

The world went black.

* * *

><p>When I awoke, I was still in the forest. I looked at the pipe, then at the forest. "Okay, I don't know how to use this very well." I walked into the town. Surprisingly, the town looked, well, almost the same. Expect, for the fact that all the Everafters were surrounding the court...<p>

"And then the Big Bad Wolf eat the poor girl's grandmother," the Woodcutter accused. Mr. Canis shifted uncomfortably in his seat. I walked in. Mr. Canis was in chains. The Mad Hatter was the judge. The Sheriff of Nottingham was, well, the sheriff. "Um, what's going on?" I asked, the person closest to me, not paying close atition to who it was. "You haven't heard? Mr. Canis is going to die," a familiar voice said. I looked at the person. It was the Queen of Hearts. "What? Why?" "Because, he protects the Grimm family," she said. She leaned towards me. "Or, what we call it, because he ate Red Riding Hood's Grandmother." It hit like a blow. I was not in the war. I was before it!

And I had to do something. I can't just sit there, and watch, nope, not me. I raised my hand. "Mad Hatter?" The Mad Hatter, and everyone else in that matter, looked up at me. "I have a witness." "We already have a witness," the Shriff of Notingham said, pointing at the Woodcutter. "Yeah. That's a real good witness. He's lying." That's when I noticed it. The Grimm family was staring at me. Wondering if they can trust me or not. "And what do you have to say that?" the Shriff of Notingham asked.

_How did I know that? I just somehow did. The world suddenly went black as I fell, **fell, felllllllllllllllll.**_

* * *

><p>An old lady looked hopefully at Jake and William Grimm. "Please. Just in case." "What?!Hey, excuse me, but what's going on?" No one heard me. "You want us to invent a living person? Do you realize how hard this is?" "Yes. But, this is for my granddaughter." Will sighed. "Come on, Jake." "Hey, Hey!" I tried to shove him. I went right though him. "Okay, this is odd."<p>

* * *

><p>"And so, Kaitlyn was born," Mary Beane said. "So, you're telling us, that you invented a living Everafter?" Shriff of Nottingham asked. Mary Beane nodded. Everyone almost died laughing.<p>

* * *

><p>When the world went back from the past, I was in a car. "What the heke?" I thought. The car suddenly stopped and Riding Hood and the Grimm family rushed out. "Do you think we beat him?" Riding Hood asked. Screams that sounded like a little girl's and a roar came from the distance. "I wouldn't bet money on it," Puck asked. I jumped out of the car. "What the heke is going on?" Relda looked at me. "I'm guessing Kaitlyn is back?" "Yes." We rushed to a small little shack. The Big Bad Wolf walked out with the Woodcutter in his grasp. "Hello Relda," the Big Bad Wolf snarled. He bit into the poor woodcutter's arm. The Woodcutter screamed. The world went black again as I fell...<p>

"Okay, Mary, do you want to save the world or not?" "Rarrrrr!" "Aaah!" I looked forward to see the Big Bad Wolf eatting Mary Beanea. "You did it Kaitlyn." "Huh? Who said that?" I was once again in the darkness. The old lady appeared. "You see, I was reincarnated into you. You did what I couldn't." "I did?" "You lived on." The old lady pulled out the kazoo. "I'll take it from here..."

* * *

><p><strong>Two weeks later...<strong>

I was walking down the street. I missed Kaitlyn terribly. Mary Beanea left Kaitlyn's body. Kaitlyn's past had been all the way altered. Every Everafter, even her, still remembered Elsa. Elsa was not defeated. She was just now terribly weak. Living in someone's body, eating their red blood cells and stuff. That's when I saw her. Kaitlyn.

She was walking towards the new orphanage for witches, of course every non-Everafter saw it as an old shack, with a group of young witches like herself. I knew what I had to do. Adopt.

**The End.**

* * *

><p><strong> This is the first story of the quirks of being an Everafter with COD series. The other one is called The NYC Case. This ending was not supposed to make sense now. It will soon though. For each story is like one chapter in one giant book. More is exposed...<strong>

** From The Potal**


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